If your daughter is buying sexy underwear, she’s having sex. Sorry, but she is.
If your son is buying condoms he is at least hoping to have sex.
Teenagers don’t want to see you dance.
Teenagers assume you don’t have sex so don’t talk about it.
If you want to embarrass any teenager ignore points 3 and 4 above.
Teenagers’ Guide to Adults:
If your parents still sleep together they’re having sex. Sorry, but they are.
Your parents are probably no more embarrassing than your friends’ parents, it just feels that way.
Your teachers talk about you in the staff room. It’s not all good.
That hot new student teacher doesn’t fancy you.
That’s maybe what they’re talking about in the staff room.
Written by Liz Rettig.
A version of this article was published in the Daily Record newspaper on 2nd July 2005.