Saturday November 25th
10:00a.m.

D-Day or G-day anyway. This is my day of destiny. Woke up this morning and didn’t have a single spot. Feel it’s a sign that my hour has come. Tonight will be the night G and I will declare our secret love. Am going to spend the entire day preparing to make myself beautiful for the most important occasion of my entire life. Just know everything is going to work out fantastically well. For the first time in my life I feel totally confident, beautiful, powerful and serene. Oh G, just a few more hours and you’ll be mine.

1 p.m.

Have just read my horoscope. It said that Venus is square with Uranus and this means that the outlook for love is poor. What should I do? Maybe I shouldn’t go tonight in case it’s a bad time.

1:30 p.m.

Phoned Stephanie in a panic and got the expected cheap ‘Uranus my arse’ joke but she did give me some good advice. She told me to check out another horoscope, so I did.V The Daily Post said tonight Mars was in conjunction with Venus which made it a fantastic night for romance. Hurrah!!

2:30 p.m.

Have just checked out a third horoscope to make sure and it wasn’t quite so good. It said that with the new moon in my opposite house and Neptune opposed by Venus and Mars, deception and conflict were possible and I needed to be very careful in my dealings with others. Maybe I should look up some more horoscopes.

5:00 p.m.

Julian has e-mailed me a list of 200,000 horoscope websites. Have checked over fifty of them and they all seem to be different. Don’t know what to do now.

6:00 pm

Liz came round. She said horoscopes were superstitious rubbish and not to pay any attention to them but she has lent me her lucky silver locket which she says is virtually guaranteed to bring good fortune in love.

7:30 p.m.

Think Liz’s locket is working already. Have never felt I looked better. Stephanie has lent me a short red strappy dress which she says is a little too tight for her but fits me perfectly. For once my skin is perfect without a single spot, blemish or pimple, just a few freckles but can’t do anything about that. Liz helped me straighten my hair with her new straighteners and now it shines in the light. She said I looked a bit like Liz Hurley except maybe shorter, and OK slightly flatter up top, but not that much.

Am so happy. Just know that tonight will be the best night of my life.

Sunday November 26th

What a weird night last night. Of course I feel ecstatically happy but also somehow really upset. It’s all Chris’s fault.

Stephanie’s party was amazing of course. She had invited hundreds people, there was a real live band who could actually play, and best of all her mum and boyfriend had booked into a hotel for the night so we were free to do what we wanted. There was also lots to drink of course but the food was a bit tasteless – loads of smoked salmon, vol-au-vonts, and crudités – so some of the boys went off and brought back chips, pizza and curry carry outs. I was too excited to eat though and didn’t have much time either as practically everyone wanted to dance with me.

Stephanie and Liz had warned me not to focus on G all the time and though he followed me around all night for once I took their advice and danced and flirted with loads of other people. And it worked. G couldn’t take his eyes off me and kept trying to get me to himself.

It was around midnight when the lights were dimmed and the band started to play a slow number. Actually it was a pretty awful old song ‘Lady in Red’ which my mum used to like before she went mad but still, it was the first slow dance and I could see G making a bee line for me from across the room. I caught his eye, smiled and waited.

Was really annoyed then when Chris unexpectedly came up beside me, put his arm around my shoulder, and said: ‘C’mon Kelly Ann, I requested this one for you. Let’s dance.’

Couldn’t think of an excuse so found myself shuffling around the floor with Chris whilst trying to keep an eye on G by peering over his shoulder. Good. He hadn’t asked anyone else to dance and was still looking at me.

When the dance finished I immediately started to hurry back towards G but Chris caught my arm and said he needed to talk to me. What was it now? Could see that Chris’s face was all serious so I supposed it had to be really important. Maybe the kitchen was on fire, someone had fallen from a top floor window or worse all the drink had run out.

Went with Chris upstairs to Stephanie’s room which amazingly was not occupied by any couples having it off. Mind you Stephanie had warned everyone that her room was off limits and had threatened to toss out starkers any one found shagging in it.

Chris just looked at me but said nothing at first so I really started to panic that it was something truly awful he had to tell me. Horrible thoughts popped into my head. Perhaps Chris was seriously ill and had only six months to live. Or maybe my mum had posed nude on the Internet for some dreadful website like hornyhousewives.com and Chris was trying to break the news to me before everyone else knew about it.

Was both relieved and annoyed then when Chris finally spoke to say that he had to tell me that he really liked me.

I mean big deal. Of course he liked me. We were friends. Began to suspect that Chris was drunk but he appeared to be totally sober.

But then he said that he meant that he really liked me. That he thought I was beautiful and that he’d fancied me for years. He said he wanted me to be his girlfriend and not just a girl who was a friend.

Was totally gobsmacked. Who’d ever have imagined that Chris fancied me? This was awful. I didn’t know what to say but Chris was obviously expecting some sort of reply. Really wished he hadn’t told me all this now.

Had to tell him that though I liked him as a friend I didn’t think of him in ‘that way’. Also pointed out that he must know that I was totally in love with G. He nodded at that but looked gutted. I said I hoped we would still be friends but he said ‘no’ that we couldn’t be friends anymore because he fancied me too much and it was tearing him apart. He would have to move on.

Just at that moment the bedroom door opened. G! He didn’t come in straight away but leant against the doorway and asked what the two of us were up to. Chris said, ‘nothing’ and that he was just going, then he looked at me and said ‘Goodbye, Kelly Ann’ in a really sad and final kind of way before walking out past G.

G came in then and shut the bedroom door. We moved towards each other and then it happened. I was in G’s arms and he was kissing me. It was absolutely fantastic of course except that G’s breath smelt strongly of beer and the chips with curry sauce he’d had earlier. Also, I was still a bit upset over Chris.

We snogged for quite a long time then G was so overcome with passion for me that he pulled me down on to Stephanie’s bed with him and tried to pull my dress off. G is so romantically impulsive! However I told him that now was not the right time to give full and ultimate expression to our feelings. He said that I was right enough. He’d heard Stephanie goes spare if anyone but her has it off in her bed and that maybe we should invite her to join us, ha ha. We went back to join the party. Saw loads of people looking at me when I danced with G and felt so proud until Liz came up and whispered to me that the skirt of my dress at the back was tucked into the top of my knickers.

Still, it was a fantastic night and G is mine at last. I am absolutely ecstatically blissfully happy. I really am. And I am not going to let this stupid business with Chris spoil things for me. Definitely not.

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